Freezing
by X5898
Summary: Max faces the consequences of her actions. MA implied. Stand Alone.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own DA or it's characters.

**A/N:** This is the product of a boring afternoon. I just started writing with no idea of what the story was going to be about and this is what it turned out. I kind of liked the results, so I decided to post it. I hope you enjoy it and that you let me know one way or the other.

**A/N2:** I want to thank my beta Secretly Beautiful for her support and encouragement. Thanks for your words girl!

**FREEZING by X5898**

It was early in the morning and no one was around yet. The TC HQ was completely empty. That wasn't a good sign, considering they were at war. Where was everybody? They knew better than to go away and leave the monitors unattended. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen anyone on her way over there. Something was very odd. What the hell was going on?

She kept walking, searching for any sign of life in the place. Suddenly, she shivered. For a second there, it felt like a ghost had gone through her. Not that she knew how that felt, but she couldn't avoid making the comparison in her mind. And there it was again. Like the cold had burned her soul or something, she just started blurring; her body moving on its own. She didn't know where she was going but she couldn't help feeling that she was heading in the right direction. And then she stopped. She stopped and for some reason she was out of breath. How could that be? She didn't know. She hadn't run that far and she was revved up enough to be able to run for hours. But transgenic or not, the truth was something had caused her to be out of breath, soaked wet and in desperate need to recollect herself.

When she finally settled enough to examine her surrounding, she finally realized where she was. She knew that place; she knew it too damn well. Good enough to know that she shouldn't be there, that she shouldn't be anywhere near it. A piercing pain shot through her body and suddenly she was falling. Her limbs didn't respond to her orders, simply because her brain wasn't giving any. She was too lost to think, all she could feel was cold.

Max jumped on the bed trying to regain her breath. That dream again. She hated that dream. It made her feel so helpless, so….

_"452… Say goodbye…"_

Those words still haunted her. Those eyes, that gun, the whole scene. She knew she would never forget that moment. And god had she tried. But every single night, when her duties were over, when there were no distractions, those eyes would come back to haunt her. And with those eyes came her dreams. Dreams of a past life she would never return to and nightmares of the moment that would scar her forever. The images of that very moment had the tendency to fade into new images and new scenarios; all of them with the same outcome. All the images showing her just how jaded she was and how little control had she had over her future. In less than a second, her whole world came crushing down and she was doomed to relieve that second for eternity.

She went into the bathroom looking for her pills; she could feel a seizure coming up. She swallowed them without the need of water or even milk. There was no time for such details; her body was trembling already. In slow motion she slid down the door until she found herself in a sitting position with her back to the door. Her eyes were fixed on the wall, looking intently to the hole right in the middle of it. She had done that. Not that it was the only one on that wall; this was TC after all. But that hole always had the ability to catch her attention. She had made that hole that night. So many people had offered to patch it up. Joshua had even ended up with a cut on his right eye the last time he had tried to get her away of that bathroom during one of her seizures. He never tried again after that. She had to be allowed to mourn when she was this weak, right? Once a week or so her seizures will come and every single time she would end up in her bathroom, looking at that hole. It didn't matter what she was doing or where she was, she had to come back there. That hole was calling at her.

And yet, she was never looking at the wall or its damages. What she saw when she looked at it, didn't resembled a wall at all. She saw grief; she saw excruciating pain and blood. And then, when the tremors were too much to control, her eyes would shut and she would see her own hand making that hole in one quick, powerful punch. And then it would all turn red.

Finally, she lost consciousness. But that was not a lucky thing, for every single moment her eyes where shut, there would be no other thing on her mind but the images of that horrible night…

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_"What do you mean he hasn't come back yet? Where is he?"_

"I don't know. He was right behind us. I don't know what happened; one second he was there and the next he was gone. We looked for him but we never found him."

"Are you telling me a highly trained X5 can't even keep track of his own comrade? How had you survived till now if you can't even keep track of your surroundings?!"

_The poor Tommy never saw it coming. Maybe Max was right, maybe he hadn't enough control over his surroundings. One way or the other, one second he was trying to explain himself, the next he was knocked out cold on the ground. _

_"Mole! Organize a search party right now. We have an MIA!"_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_They had arrived at the facility less than a half an hour later. It involved ignoring some major traffic rules, but those were not important right now. They were there and as expected, so was he. He was there, right in front of them, with a big bright smile on his face and a gun pointed at Alec's skull. He had all the cards and he knew it. _

_"Hello 452; so nice of you to join us. I was just telling 494 just how much I missed you. Isn't that right, 494?"_

_But Alec couldn't answer him. He was beaten and drugged enough to be unconscious. When you think about it, it was probably for the better. That way he would never get to see his lover betraying him. But her luck was never such and he did wake up, right at the last second, with just enough time for her to look into those deep pools of hazel. Those deep pools that would never let her live at peace again. _

_"I'll make you a deal."_

_Max was caught off guard. She was so focused in the image of her lover, she wasn't paying enough attention to her enemy. That was her first mistake, never seeing just how much he meant his words. _

_"My son for this filth. I should feel ashamed for even thinking of such a deal. There is no comparison between the two. This THING is not even worth the air he breathes. With any luck I'll take care of that soon."_

_"You expect me to trade your son for Alec."_

_"I expect you to trade my son for your lover."_

_She wasn't thinking straight. Somewhere inside her brain she was so sure that if she kept denying her feelings for Alec it would give her the advantage in the trade. She never considered what White actually believing her could accomplish. But he did; he believed her. And she was left behind to face the consequences. _

_"Well then. If that's what you feel, I guess there's no point of wasting anymore of my time."_

_And that was the moment Alec chose to open his eyes, his drugged unfocussed eyes. Those eyes that finally settled on hers for the last time. _

_"452… Say goodbye."_

The shot and her scream got her back to reality. They woke her up to face her bathroom and her wall. To face the hole. That hole she had made that night when her friends finally left her alone. When inside her shower, she finally came to the conclusion that no amount of water could wash her guilt away. She woke up to face another day. And that day would fade into another and another until destiny had finally had enough fun with her and the peaceful death decided to claim her.

"452… Say goodbye."

It was so cold inside her soul….

THE END


End file.
